Shock Labyrinth 3D

3D…. check
bad acting…. check
floating 3D rabbit with a vagina that spills out black haired girl …. check

Can you tell a movie is bad by the trailer? Should we be prejudiced snobs and condemn a movie based on its advertising?

In the case of Shock Labyrinth 3D I can safely say: If you watch this movie thinking that this will be a good horror movie or at least 2 entertaining hours then you are in for a horrific surprise. Let alone that the movie has 3D in the title and is desperately advertising the 3D gimmick as “the new dimension of horror” or something along that lines, this is probably everything that’s wrong when you are complaining about soulless just for the quick bucks movie making.

The movie starts with your typical horror images we are used after the loads of “the ring” – copies and sequels. The so-called horror is solely based on the belief that people will get automatically scarred by images resembling the ring. So we get a load of “black haired girl” shots to make us shiver… because it’s like totally scary and stuff.
The pace of the movie is atrocious because the producers actually try to create some mystery and it made me miss the silliness of “My Bloody Valentine 3D Digital Cinema Experience” where the makers didn’t even try to put some plot into the movie and let the train wreck happen from the get-go.

But for fans of trashy horror movies this is a goldmine since the last half an hour feels like they wrote four different screenplays accidentally mixed them and forgot to number the pages so they cut it together like they found it. Seriously this movie shifts from Donnie Darko to Fight Club in mere seconds while flavouring every scene with atrocious acting that sets the new standard for bad horror movie acting (previously held by the Saw series).
It also shows that the horror genre is better left untouched by the current 3D craze (something I will probably analyse in near future) since it is more of a distraction from what is going onscreen but in this case it helped hold our attention because it just look so over the top silly. It felt like a little kid with a new toy pointing stuff at us to reassure “Hey this is 3D!!!”

To end the review with the most poignant quote from a friend of mine:
I am not sure if I want this thing a second time or never again in my life.

Trashometer: 85%
The bar for the Speedracer award has been set very high with this entry

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  1. hulksmash
    16. Mai 2010

    I can’t even tell what this movie is. While some bad horror movies tend to be entertaining and even become legendary trash movies, this one was none of them.
    Did they really belive we would be shocked because of the 3D effects and the old abandoned house? I can’t belive they really meant this to be a serious movie.
    Bad acting, bad story and even bad 3D…what can I say other than “Is this movie over yet?”

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